just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm just crazy horny about you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
