please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
