Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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