He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This is my gift to your gina
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
