You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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