I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I see more hoeing in ur future
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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