And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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