I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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