My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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