He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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