I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize