did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
