so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
