found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
