me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Success! We fucked roommates!
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