my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
that is very illegal...i love you.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
