i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
