I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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