Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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