quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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