Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
