worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
