wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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