There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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