Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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