plz talk dirty to me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
