Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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