im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
