He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
