You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
