how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have post one night stand depression
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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