Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
