worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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