i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My pussy is not your playground.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
