Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
