no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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