Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
