I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
