the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
