just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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