i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
