FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
