i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
