Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
