he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
