Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
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