He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
