So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
