I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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