she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
